Sunday, December 4, 2016

Giving Thanks

Well, I did it.
Despite a Hail Mary grocery shopping that involved only buying core ingredients I knew I could make some kind of Thanksgiving meal out of, we ended up having delicious food, a lovely day together and most importantly a pretty table.
As I was panicking prior to the big day people kept telling me to stop stressing about not having time, that just being with my family is the most important part. While I nodded my head or responded to texts with "I know, I know" and "Of Course it is :)" quietly inside I was screaming: "No shit Sherlock. I know this and agree wholeheartedly. But it's all the components of Thanksgiving; the planning, the cooking, the setting of the table: that is what I love so much about it! What the ?!@*" Argh!
If I had my way I would be baking the bread for the stuffing from scratch, making my own fried onions for the green bean casserole, baking a variety of desserts, not just the pumpkin pie recipe from the back of the can (which I actually altered slightly and the pie ended up being amazing). I think you get the idea. To not have time to do the things you enjoy unless you want to give up sleeping sucks. There's no other way to put it.

Last year I was fine with ordering the meal pre cooked due to our crazy living situation. It was a wonderful Thanksgiving, one that is a precious memory I will cherish always. But it was supposed to be one, repeat ONE wonky holiday season followed by a return to normalcy once we were settled in. Feeling so ill prepared and overwhelmed this year was not ok because it was not supposed to be that way.

I left church on the Sunday after Thanksgiving with a tugging in my heart that I need to do a better job of seeing all the good rather than focusing on all the negative.  There is so much good! So why do the little negative things always seem to overpower it?
When I sit and think about our whole journey here how can I not feel all warm and fuzzy inside? It wasn't easy, goodness knows it wasn't easy but everything has worked out to surpass my every expectation. We have everything we dreamed of having in a home and in the location. We thought it would be out of our reach to have it all. I have been blessed here with some of the sweetest friendships I have ever had in my life and when I step back and see how they have been so divinely orchestrated it actually takes my breath away.

The dreams I still have are starting to take form and I know with every fiber of my being that I will walk into the fulfilling life I began dreaming about finding all those years ago.
So this holiday season I am going to try my hardest to see the good through the ugly, the light through the darkness and remember all the amazing things I have already seen happen. It may be the only way I can survive December. ;)

"When I started counting my blessings my whole life turned around."
~Willie Nelson

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